Writing ads - how to write dating personals

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Don't be tempted to put your penchant for quiet nights in on your dating personals and expect a torrent of replies to your ad - you'll be sorely disappointed.

Would-be daters claiming to enjoy reading, culture and vegetarian food aren't too hot on the pick-up it seems and admitting to being shy, home-loving or cuddly doesn't help either.

What's Hot

According to those who analyze these things, sensual is the buzz word of the dating personals. Add it to your description and you're on a fast-track to dating bliss.

Being honest, loyal, caring and trustworthy are other winning words and a sense of humor seems to go a long way to getting genuine replies, particularly if you can prove it to the satisfaction of the reader.

For more fun-filled flings the word on the street is that adjectives such as wild, tactile and sexy will see you overwhelmed with replies - though not necessarily the type you've been hoping for.

Writing Your Advertisement

When you write your personal ad you need to concentrate on selling yourself in a few short words. Write it well and you'll be more satisfied with the volume and quality of the replies.

First of all sit down and list all your best qualities, then prioritize them in the order you think your dream date would value them. Think about what qualities you could bring to a relationship and what you would expect from your ideal date.

Write down all the things you are looking for. Then think about values that are important to you, which of these would you look for in a partner? Which are you willing to compromise on and what values would you find completely incompatible with yours? Dont set too many impossible tasks or you may chase a good person away.

Having examined your situation you can sit down to write your ad.

Hook the reader

Your dating personal is going to be one among many; make sure it stands out. Make your headline catchy by being bold, witty and creative. Look at plenty of personal ads and pick out the ones you like and might respond to - why did they catch your eye? 'Blonde, athletic lawyer' may say much more than 'Handsome male, 32'.

Describe yourself

Your personal ad has to describe you but it also has to sell you to a complete stranger so there's really no point mentioning your ability to play the Mongolian Morin Huur, your aversion to vacuuming or your ample nasal hair. Include the basics such as marital status and age, and ethnic or religious background if that is important to your choice of partner.

Bland statements, such as 'I enjoy, meeting people, movies and going out' won't get you anywhere - this describes just about everyone on the planet. Be unique, it's your one chance to lure the reader. And don't underestimate yourself - you have to tell the reader what's in it for them if they reply to your ad.

Think about what type of person you want to attract and what they might find interesting. It's no point saying you're a stay-at home, embroidery type if you're hoping for a brawny outdoorsman to come and sweep you off your feet - he'll write you off at first glance.

Be honest

There's no point lying about who you are in a dating personal, the people who respond will size you up pretty quickly and realize you've lead them on. You've a much better chance of finding a good match if you're honest from the beginning. And if you really hate something say so - if smokers, previously married people, children or cats simply aren't your thing don't be afraid to put it in your ad. It'll save you a lot of hassle and time in the long run and reduce the short list.

Describe your date

Include a description of your ideal date in your ad. If any political, social or moral values are particularly important to you, mention it here.

Describe your future dates

Think about what the two of you would do together. Avoid clichés like long walks on the beach - everyone likes walking on the beach, be more specific and show people who you really are.

Writing

Your writing style will say more about you than the adjectives you use ever can. Write to the best of your ability and as if you were speaking the words as chatty conversational text creats images in the mind of the reader too. Rather than saying you have a good sense of humor, demonstrate it by writing a witty ad. If you are a bad speller take the time to check the dictionary as a surprisingly large number of people make judgements about people's intelligence or personality on the basis of a few badly spelled words.

A few dating personal advertisement don'ts

• Don't use all caps
• Don't forget to spell check your ad
• Don't mention negative points
• Don't give an endless list of hobbies and interests
• Don't focus on financial or material issues
• Don't waste half your ad describing your appearance

Finally when somebody replies to your advertisement remember that your opportunity has just been enhanced. If you want to write back at that stage put as much effort into that reply as you did your profile. It may be the deciding point in your new relationship.

© The Pink Fridge Online Magazine 2008 - Writing Personals Ads

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