Replying to an ad - single dating personals

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You've seen the ad, you like the sound of the writer and put a ring (real or virtual) round it. Now you need to do something about it.

Do you pick up the phone, reply by email or freeze, worrying that you might put off your dream date off before your ever meet.

Doing Nothing is Not an Option

Well, doing nothing is not really an option, is it? Whether you need to leave a phone message or respond by email don't put it off. Dating is an adrenaline rush and you might as well use it while you've got it. Make contact immediately before you lose confidence and enthusiasm; think about it too long and it might not happen.

What to Say

Consider what you're going to say, just like you would if you were writing a personal ad for yourself. This is your one chance to sell yourself to this person. Read their ad again and try to reply to the person you imagine wrote it. Who are they looking for and how can you persuade them it's you? Gear your response specifically to them and you're half way there.

Remember you're trying to get a conversation going so use an informal approach. Don't use a try-hard pick up line: it's a fast track to radio silence. Make your reply stand out from the others by really giving the person an idea of who you are and why you're right for them. But don't go overboard, droning on for hours about obscure interests.

Don't focus solely on yourself, mention what you've got in common and show your prospective date what they stand to gain if they respond to your ad. Be upbeat and confident, and sound like you'd be fun to meet.

Email Replies

If you're emailing make sure your subject line says something catchy so it doesn't get deleted before being opened, and keep your message to a manageable length to avoid the reader losing interest or feeling intimidated by all you have to say. If you succeed you will have plenty of time to talk.

Be conversational or your personality will not come through.

And it may seem obvious but don't say anything negative, about yourself or the person you're replying to. Finally, don't admit you've replied to lots of ads before - you don't want to appear desperate and it is far better to let the person at the other end believe their advert is the most interesting you have seen.

Telephone

Telephone responses can be harder or easier depending on your personality. It may not be your first response but sooner or later it must happen.

Its a good idea to make some notes from both your own profile and the person you have responded to so you can ensure some questions and conversation. Dont write up questions though - it will come out as though you are a rehearsed zombie.

Consider security issues and whether you want the respondent to see your telephone number (you can regulate this on most modern phones).

And ladies, remember men are not good at maintaining a conversation sometimes. Conversation is your domain and its worth keeping the questions going until a man relaxes. They enjoy talking about themselves and of course will reveal a lot about themselves once they launch into their subject.

Remember

Reply without delay. Do it now.

Replying to a personal ad or an online profile on a dating site can be daunting, but if do it effectively and you'll be well on your way to a first date.

© The Pink Fridge Online Magazine 2008 - Single Dating